


Fissures

by GeekyStorytelling



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-09-25 10:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9815633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekyStorytelling/pseuds/GeekyStorytelling
Summary: “I want you to have a good life. I want you to find love and be happy. I want you to do all the things that being my sister kept you from doing”“Promise me…I need you to promise me Alex there isn’t much time”The consequences of a kept promise weighs heavily on Kara Danvers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly this was not supposed to be angst, but it seems like Kara had other ideas for how she wanted to be written.

The alarm blaring in the distance startled the overly sensitive Kara awake. 

“Ughhhhh” Kara muffled from under a torrent of pillows. Rolling to her side, she attempted to shut out the loud noise wafting through the adjacent wall. 

‘Why does she always wake up so early’ Kara wondered to herself thinking about the neighbor in the next apartment.

There was never a need for Kara to invest in her own alarm clock when her neighbor uniformly ensured she was up by 6:15 every morning. While for some this might be an acceptable time to wake in order to ensure they had enough time to get ready and travel to work, this was not the case for Kara.

Kara had superpowers that exponentially aided her in speeding through the mundane morning rituals, leaving her with more time to ruminate on the thoughts that only dreamless sleep provided refuge.

Watching Lena taken away in handcuffs had torn at Kara’s heartstrings. The fact that Maggie, Alex’s girlfriend, was the one who handcuffed the CEO only made the hurt in her chest more palpable. 

Lena was her friend and no one, not even Alex, had believed her when she said she knew Lena was innocent.

While she was able to prove Lena’s innocence by relentlessly pursuing the truth, it did little to soothe the fissures between her and Alex. Her sister who was supposed to have her back no matter what.

Alex had always been there for her. Alex who told her blue was her color when Kara was freaking out about choosing an outfit. Alex who held her hand and provided a physical tether to the world when the sights and sounds and smells were too overwhelming. Alex who patiently taught her to surf despite the distraction provided by the novel experience of watching birds. Alex who secretly joined a government black ops organization for the sole purpose of keeping her safe and hidden. 

Alex was her hero. She was her Supergirl. 

But, she also knew she was holding Alex back. She knew that Alex had revolved her life around her and had not taken time to properly live and experience living for herself. This was why she asked Alex what she did when she flew Fort Rozz into space.

Her brow furrowed and eyes hardened as she recalled the hardest conversation of her life. The words she recited forever etched into the plains of her mind, “I want you to have a good life. I want you to find love and be happy. I want you to do all the things that being my sister kept you from doing”

Though, Alex ended up rising to the occasion as her hero once again by piloting her back to earth via decades old Kryptonian pod, the sentiment was not lost.

Rather, it became all the more apparent how off course Alex’s life had been because of Kara’s influence when Alex came out as gay to Kara only a few months ago. While Kara internally understood the complexities surround the earth customs of sexual identity, it was hard for her not to blame herself for Alex’s late blooming. Her sister, nearly thirty, had lived a life devoid of the love and meaningful intimacy only a partner could give because of her. 

Now, months later, she found herself at war with her thoughts. She was glad that Alex had found love and was putting herself first, but she did not know how to fill the gap in her life where her sister used to be. She had gone from meticulously planned birthday extravaganzas and ritualistic sister sleepovers to an ‘I’m sorry’ earth birthday cupcake and a series of cancelled sister nights.

Now, another crack formed between them, as she thought back to this latest perceived slight with Lena. 

Shaking her head, Kara mentally pulled herself from that train of thought as she rose out of bed. The floor was solid beneath her, the wood grains providing a textured smooth feeling that further calmed her torrent of thoughts and emotions. 

She spent a week going from flooring store to flooring store in her grand hunt to find the best feeling wood for her apartment. While it was originally Jeremiah and Eliza’s place when they attended National City University, Alex had taken it over from their renters when she went to college. After Alex graduated, she passed the apartment on to Kara who was given permission from Eliza to update it in order to meet her Kryptonian needs. 

Lead lined shower curtains for when Clark visited was the first purchase of many she made to adjust her new home to better suit her abilities. The wood flooring, being the one indulgence she made purely based on wants rather than needs. As a hyper sensitive alien, the particular wood she purchased felt to her like what the richest fabrics of cashmere or silk feel to the average human. 

Trudging along the corridor, Kara made her way into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot.

Like alcohol, caffeine did little to effect the alien, but the rich smell reminded her of early mornings with Alex. Sitting at the kitchen table in Midvale, the Danvers sisters bond grew over those pressed beans and hazelnut musk.  
Pouring herself a cup of coffee, Kara looked down at the tacky tourist trifle Alex had gifted her when she received the job at CatCo. The deep red of the House of El crest stood out against the rich blue background, a reminder of a time long ago and yet never forgotten. 

Taking a moment to inhale the scent of the hazelnut brew, Kara dressed her coffee in the sugary sweet coat that made the bitter undertones palatable to her taste buds. It was not a sticky bun from Noonans but the familial reminder made the coffee all the more filling as she slowly sipped. 

Sitting by her window, Kara peered out on the sleepy scene created by the few rays of morning light peeking through the buildings in National City. The Sunday morning dew provided a film over the window as she embraced the quiet afforded to her senses on this weekend drowsy dawn. 

Try as she might, Kara was not able to block out the aching thoughts she had for her sister any longer. Ever since she arrived on Earth the one constant had been Alex, and now she was resigned to learning to live without her second half. 

Sunday was one of the few days where crime was low and Supergirl was only needed if alien incidents needed to be handled. Her job as a CatCo reporter also afforded her the luxury of a Sunday to herself, unless otherwise needed for special occasions. 

The hours crept by as Kara remained stoically sitting in the chair by the window. She watched her neighbor leave the apartment building for a run, return an hour later, leave again, return with groceries, and an hour later open the front door for a paramour’s entrance. The time around her seemed to slip away as she valiantly tried to distract her swirling thoughts from the pain of her sister’s doubt. 

Her heavy eyelids finally closed as the rays of sunshine that she rose with thinned to make way for the hazy night. Still sitting in the chair, Kara found respite in a thoughtless dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come chat with me at:  
> Tumblr: https://geekystorytelling.tumblr.com/  
> Twitter: @GeekyStories  
> Youtube: GeekyStorytelling


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